Dating 101, sealed with a kiss
There is hope out there for all of you unsuccessful, serial daters. Haven’t you heard? Dating is out! That’s right, you can just kiss it goodbye according to Joshua Harris, author of the controversial book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
Now, it’s important to understand that Harris isn’t socially inept, nor does he have a sixth toe. He is, rather, blessed in the physical department and can hold his own in the game of love. So be cautious not to misinterpret his discouraging views on dating as incompetence in the dating scene, but understand that his views are rooted in his faith. “None of it makes sense without God,” explains Harris.
Though Harris has found his inspiration through God, many of his reasons behind his ideas are universally applicable on the basis that we are all emotional beings. “The thing about relationships is, when you are in the middle of one, they consume your focus,” Harris advises from personal experience. You dedicate all your energy to something that will more than likely, ultimately fail, leaving you with a broken heart and “memories you can’t even share with your (spouse).” He further explains that relationships foolishly escalate to a state of intimacy without the stipulation of commitment, consequently, mistaking physical attraction for true emotional feelings and love.
This author’s, as some might say, radical approach, has rapidly swept the nation catching media attention as a worthy theory that preaches the right way to approach love and marriage. Although garnished with truly idealistic scenarios, I Kissed Dating Goodbye backs Harris’ desire to go back to the Victorian practice of courtship with some useful logic. In other words, gentlemen, you’re “meeting the parents” on Day One of the relationship with the intention of taking their daughter’s hand in marriage. Gasp. You can’t say I didn’t warn you these ideas weren’t exactly synonymous with popular culture.
Like most radical ideas, this one has attracted its share of opposing arguments. Skepticism of this lifestyle’s feasibility is expected, granted its most prominent advocate is a man who kissed his wife for the first time at the altar. How can you take someone like that seriously? That’s great for you, buddy, but ‘fraid it’s not for me. It is hard for people to accept or even understand that the ultimate reward is worth these types of sacrifices. Most people aren’t willing to risk appearing that prudish. Plus, c’mon, who wants to give up kissing?
One could object that, in addition to its enjoyment, there are practical reasons for dating. Psychologist and marriage therapist, Shirley Glass states that, like a learner’s permit for a driver’s license, dating can be an instructional experience in preparation for the real deal: “You get feedback from the person about how to make a relationship work so that, hopefully, you go into marriage less starry-eyed.”
Regardless of which position is optimal, a general consensus both sides can agree on is that it is necessary to take a more thoughtful and tentative approach when considering a potential love-interest. It’s not worth risking your time, your feelings, or compromising your life’s happiness.